TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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