did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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