In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
