Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
