Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
