The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
