On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
