what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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