Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
