he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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