You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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