he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
