chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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