So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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