How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize