ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
