The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
