I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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