All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
3pm strippers are depressing
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
