The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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