I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
