i would punch a child for taco bell
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
