she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
