oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i need an iv and a liver transplant
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Panties = found
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
