so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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