I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
All the doctor said was why
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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