i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
