After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
