if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
