come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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