I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
