I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
