Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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