sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
