so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
