you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
