it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
