My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
