I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
