This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
