please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
