If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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