there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
