I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
