so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Randomize
