In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
