New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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