I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
