my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
