hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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