i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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