It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
