i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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