I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize