This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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