i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
