I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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