The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize