the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
